Tuesday, December 20, 2005

You're Invited, Please Come :)

Art on Violin Exhibit
Opens December 23, Friday at 6PM
@ The Art Center, Level 4 Bldg A
SM Megamall, Mandaluyong City
(until January 5, 2006)

Thursday, December 01, 2005


I missed blogging. I missed a lot of things. I need to update this!!! lol

Went to Penguin last tuesday with my dear Cathy and had a great time seeing old Pinoypoets friends. Sruvaleh was also there playing their music, with now-regular sessionist Kramer hehe. Nandun din sila Rain, Ani, Steph (thanks for sharing with Cathy your knowledge on ehem, massage :D), Jeff, Makoy, Claire, Jonar, Gretch, Van and Maki.

It was cool, Sruvaleh plays this trance-like music/rhythm na sarap sabayan. (If there weren't a lot of people there I would close my eyes and meditate... Seriously! Hehe :D)

So now here I am @ Netopia in Araneta Center, Cubao (how did that old Alexander Agena poem go?... I hate new york cubao!) Well, for all that angst, maganda naman ngayon dito. Gateway's pretty cool too. Anyway, here I am blogging again. And I just thought, I missed writing. in our generation, we take our writing skills for granted, sometimes we forget (or I forgot) that it's really thinking-on-the-go. Writing is actually improvising on the page (or keyboard) - it's an art. And like all art, it's about learning. Like listening to Sruvaleh's music, writing is also a form of listening - listening to the soul, to the mind, to the heart.

O, ha. Pang blogger talaga ;)

Anyway, left my last job quite quickly. Kaya Ronald, huy! Wala na ako sa call center. I was offered a job as manager for a gallery, and I accepted. At least mas bagay. I know, I know. "We told you so." But to be honest about it, I have the deepest respect for TSRs and CSAs - they have one of the most complex jobs in the world. My hat's off to you guys.


Looks like I have all the time in the world now to make art. Thanks Joseph Campbell. ;)


Sunday, September 25, 2005


I love September 25, 2005. 9:00 am to be exact. :) A leap of faith, with someone very dear to me.
happy happy happy happy happy

Just had lunch earlier with my sister's future in-laws at Dad's. The food was great. On the way to Makati, i found that the streets looked great, and I loved the way the sun hit the roofs of the cars. I felt light. There is a lightness in everything I do. Does it matter that I don't make sense? Sometimes I don't, and sometimes I do. Life sometimes doesn't make sense. And sometimes it does.

For a long time, I wanted to write something about change. Why do people change? Why do situations change? Sometimes, when we come across something that we love so much, we think that we'll love it forever. And then we change.. and the love we have for that person or situation or thing disappears.

But then sometimes something more wonderful takes its place.

People change, that's all. Whether we like it or not. We can't really grow without change.

Went to the Pinoypoets GA at Mcdo St Francis Square last Friday. It was good seeing old friends. It's hard to imagine I've been with the group for only over a year. It feels like lifetimes already. I miss the ones that left already, especially Jonar. And the quiet ones nowadays, like Dave and Andrea. but it was good seeing Ani (namaste! missed you a lot) and the rest, Xam, Pol, Ergoe, Nanoy, Kai (Oh God, Oh God! who hopefully finds her notebook), Kath (who was really concentrated on finishing her poem for LIRA, sayang di ko inabutan si Emong), Gretch (race car enthusiast pala ito), Jeff (no. 1 sa mga hirit). Van was also there, kasama si Maki. (Okay, now I know I missed a lot already hehehe.) Edz was also there with his friend. At ang idol nating si Makatang Kiko. Claire was also there (blooming na naman ata.) Hope to have coffee again with Steph one of these days.

Anecdote of the night from Ani: Wala palang "gullible" sa dictionary? lol

I have a very bad habit that I want to break. Whenever I become busy I tend to forget to spend time with my friends (both old and new). During the training in my new "day" job, we were asked to write a commitment. Mine was: "to always be there when my friends need me."
My record sucks, but i really want to change that.

Last Saturday, went to Boston Gallery to catch Erwin's and Jim's show. Galing pareho! Nice to see everyone again, after a not-so-long time. The question: bakit ka nagcall center?

I like my new work at Etelecare. Before I went into art, I was working. Now, I want to work again while continuing to make art. Of course it's not as simple as it seems.
The schedules though, are really weird. but I've always loved challenging myself and finding new avenues of experience and expression. Time will tell if I made the right decision, but I think I did.

The casualty though: I had to stop teaching at Art Informal. But I hope to go back to teaching again later on. In the meantime, have to finish my pieces for October, and start writing poems again. And hanging out again, and...

happy happy happy happy happy

Thursday, August 11, 2005


Press Release
Art Workshops at Art Informal

(A Creativity Workshop)

All of us have a strong desire to follow our creative impulses, and at the same time, find personal meaning and fulfillment through our creative work. However, real life concerns often make us postpone our creative efforts and lead us to bouts of frustration, uncertainty and apathy. A creativity workshop empowers us to realize our potential to create, providing a sacred space where our creative selves and ideas can break through.

Through the Creativity Development Program at Art Informal, a creativity workshop has been established. Called THE POWER TO CREATE, it is an eight-session program, the foundation of which is creative collaboration. The first four sessions will deal with the nature of creativity and how blocks arise, and what tools we have at our disposal to overcome them. The last four sessions will focus specifically on the rudiments of the creative process, and how this can be applied to our personal goals, work and life. Activities include journal writing, morning pages, guided visualizations, meditation, Zen watercolor painting, collaborative projects and experiential exercises. Anyone who seeks to live more creatively, and anyone engaged in a creative field (visual artists, writers, musicians, performers, entrepreneurs, designers, etc.) will benefit hugely from this workshop.

There is also a special workshop for children, called Creativity Workshop for Kids (ages 7-12), which will feature activities such as storytelling, show-and-tell, meditation, automatic drawing and freeform writing. The kids’ workshop is seen as a supplement to their school-based activities, and will feature intuitive, right-brain exercises and approaches.

Visual artist and writer Jojo Ballo will facilitate the workshops on creativity utilizing a multi-disciplinary approach. Ballo has exhibited his artworks in Pinto Art Gallery in Antipolo and Boston Gallery in Cubao, and has a background in Architecture from U.P. Diliman. He is also a researcher, designer, illustrator, ceramic painter, body artist, poet and guitarist, and draws on these multiple disciplines in distilling a comprehensive and holistic approach to the practice of creativity.


The Power to Create

August 27 – October 15, 2005
Saturdays, 2 – 5 pm

October 22 – December 10, 2005
Saturdays, 2 – 5 pm

Creativity Workshop for Kids

September 4 – October 23, 2005
Saturdays, 10 am – 12 noon

For more information, please call telefax 725-8518 or text 0920-2132972 and 0918-8261253. Art Informal is located at 277 Connecticut St., Greenhills East, Mandaluyong City.

Art Informal, the artist-run learning center for art and creativity, was established by a group of contemporary Filipino artists with the thrust of offering lessons in art to the public in short courses that are comprehensive, intensive and hands-on.

The classes being offered include the ff:

For adults (15 years old and above):

Introductory Drawing
Drawing Techniques
Drawing from Life
Figure Drawing
Oil Painting (beginner to advanced)
Watercolors (beginner to advanced)
Acrylic Painting
Basic Sculpture (Terracotta)
Portrait Bust Sculpture
Photography (basic to intermediate, film and digital)
Creativity (creativity coaching and consulting)
Pottery (handbuilt and wheel-thrown, in terracotta and stoneware)
Traditional Wood Carving
Reproducing the Masters (Painting)
Art Appreciation and Art Studies

Workshops for children:

Painting Explorations
Arts and Crafts
Creativity Workshop for Kids
Introduction to Drawing
Basic Printmaking
Basic Sculpture

Finally, Art Informal offers seminars on career pathing for artists, arts collections management, arts investment, art theory and discourse. It is also offering advanced-level programs where the student can work on a series of artworks in preparation for a major project or solo exhibition.

For inquiries and information on class schedules and workshop fees, please call telefax 725-8518 or text 0920-2132972 and 0918-8261253. Art Informal is located at 277 Connecticut St., Greenhills East, Mandaluyong City.

Wednesday, August 10, 2005


"Love and art do not embrace what is beautiful but what is made beautiful by this embrace." (Karl Kraus, 1874-1936)

"Time has been transformed and we have changed; it has advanced and set us in motion; it has unveiled its face, inspiring us with bewilderment and exhiliration." (Kahlil Gibran)

I just realized I didn't know anything. Absolutely nothing at all. I could read all the books in the world and still come no closer to life itself. I could strive to be all that I could become and it wouldn't mean anything.

So I just stopped... and everything came...

How still can one hope to be in a world of absolute chaos?

Who can know?...

"I wanna dance with you
I see a world where people live and die with grace
the karmic ocean dried up and leave no trace
I wanna dance with you
I see a sky full of the stars that change our minds
and lead us back to a world we would not face

In this altered state
full of so much pain and rage
you know we got to find a way to let it go"

(Live, "Dance With You", The Distance To Here, 1999)

Monday, August 08, 2005

The Empty Canvas

Major anxiety attack.

It should be easy. I can do it in my sleep. I've done three of them. But who am I fooling? This show is the hardest ever and (heaven forbid that you read this Mr. Hilario hehehe) I have yet to finish a coherent piece for an exhibit in October.

Major downpour. Ayos lang, it's only water. Needing some space, I had to leave my studio (if you can call it that - four walls and a bed and some books and some art materials and stuff.)

And where do I end up but a net cafe? Irony of ironies. Arrgh how many times in a day will I check my email? And how often will I have to carry around this darn book? Props, props, props. My painting's still waiting...

But major surprise.

What are you doing here?

I didn't count on all this. I didn't realize it could feel this good. I feel like I'm floating at sea and I could just float forever...

Why do you make me feel this way?

Sunday, August 07, 2005

Seeing Stars

"Obsession" - Cathy's hands and artwork

Seeing Stars
(a song-in-progress)
for Cathy

I didn't know if it was the alcohol
or the feeling of rushing headlong
down a ravine I haven't seen
in a long long while

It could have been your eyes
the way you bring them to a stare
with one eyebrow raised, you say:
and why do you look at me that way?"

I want to dance with you

This sunday morning,
I'm lost,
happy, dreaming,
floating in seas

I like the way you held that guitar
and how you practiced on your piece
and how we talked about music,
the piano, and learning to let go

If I teach you strings,
will you teach me dancing?

I like the way you do things,
how everything seems to flow
into a mystery of stars
falling on earth
in an aftermath of atoms singing
of art and birth

Yesterday I was walking,
looking down watching
my steps, not wanting to stumble
on some unforeseen obstacle
in this path of what-do-i-know

Today I looked up,
and there you were

Today I looked up,
and there you were.


Tuesday, August 02, 2005



Takot talaga ako sa mga multo. Kaya kapag may nagsimula ng ghost stories, I become a scaredy cat. Hahahaha

A friend of mine told me that there's an org in UP that can open one's third eye. An intriguing precept. Since (1) it presumes that there is such a thing as a 'third eye', and that apparently, (2) everybody has it (in varying degrees of 'openness').

Personally, I think that everything can be explained scientifically. It's just that science has yet to catch up with its tools of measurement, especially in phenomena that cannot be observed through the five senses.

Kaya lang pag binuksan mo raw ang third eye mo, hindi mo na ito pwedeng isara ulit. Nyahaha!
At minsan daw, hindi mo malalaman kung totoong tao yung nakikita mo or moomoo na.

Body Art

Maraming salamat sa mga nagtext re Art Informal's segment in Magandang Umaga Pilipinas. I hope I didn't embarass myself too much :P

Yda Manzano has one of the most beautiful faces I've ever seen. But obviously, that wasn't why I looked nervous and tense. Hahahaha!

Thanks for visiting this blog. Hope your day turns out as unpredictable and surreal as mine. :)

Friday, July 15, 2005


"Bayan ko, nahan ka, ako ngayoy' nag-iisa..."
- Asin

Hindi ko piniling maging Pilipino. Pero hinding hindi ko ata kayang ipagpapalit ito. Kahit pa man meron na tayong global na pag-iisip at diwa. Iba pa rin ang hatak ng inang bayan. Kaya't nakakalungkot ang mga dinaranas natin ngayon.

Sana matuto na tayo. Sana.

Ngunit paano nga ba ima-manage ang pagbabago? At paano tayo magpaplano kung ang mga pangyayaring nagaganap sa ating bansa ngayon ay di-tiyak? Uncertain. Unpredictable. Chaotic. Complex.

Ang Pilipinas ay sistemang binubuo ng maraming sistema. Kung babalik tayo sa Chaos theory (in particular, yung "Butterfly Effect") at kung ihahalintulad natin ang sitwasyon ng Pilipinas sa ating panahon (weather), mapapansin na kahit pa malaman natin ang lahat tungkol dito, hindi pa rin natin mape-predict ang behavior nito. "The weather makes itself up as it goes along."

Ang kasalukuyang sitwasyon sa pulitika, ekonomiya, liderato, kultura at lipunan ay hindi kasalanan ng sinumang tao. Totoo, maraming katarantaduhang ginawa ang liderato natin, at maraming katiwaliang nagaganap sa lahat ng lebel sa pamunuan ng gobyerno. Marami tayong kailangang ayusin sa ating pananaw, attitude at ugali. May kanser ang lipunan, ika nga ni Rizal.

Nandun na tayo.

Pero sa pananaw ko, kulang at masyadong simple ang argyumentong ito. Tingin ko, hindi lang ang Pilipinas ang nahaharap sa ganitong ka-komplikado at kahirap na pagbabago. Sa larangan ng mga korporasyon at kalakalan, mayroon nang tinatawag na Change Management na field of study. Ganoon kalaganap ang pagbabago sa ating mundo. Sa lahat ng antas, mula indibidwal hanggang lipunan hanggang daigdig.

Sa aking palagay, hindi sapat na tumingin lamang tayo sa ating kasaysayan para sa mga solusyon, o kaya'y manghiram ng sistema ng gobyerno sa ibang bansa (although maganda ang argyumento para dito). Dahil sa complexity ng ating sitwasyon, kailangan din nating hanapin ang "emergent" solution sa ating mga problema.

At marahil ang solusyong ito ay isang bagay na hindi pa naiisip ninuman.

Naniniwala ako sa kapasidad nating makapag organisa ng maayos, sa kakayahan nating maging self-organizing system.

Marahil ang problema natin ay hindi lamang politikal, kundi existential at spiritual. Nasaan na nga ba ang kaluluwa ng Pilipino? Nasaan ang kanyang kahulugan, ang kanyang meaning, ang kanyang purpose?

Sa ika-21 siglo, kailangang harapin ng bawat Pilipino ang mga ganitong tanong. Sapagkat ang bawat isa ay hindi na makukuntentong magpaalipin sa vision ng iba. Ang bawat isang mamamayan ay mayroong kapasidad na maging self-actualizing, at nanaisin niyang tahakin ang kabuuan ng kanyang potensyal, ang kabuuan ng kanyang pagkatao.

Umaasa akong ang lahat ng bagay ay may kasagutan, at may kadahilanan.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005


got this from a site:

The Meaning of "Namaste"

What does "Namaste" mean? My yoga teacher says it every week after our practice and I've always wanted to know.

- student

Aadil Palkhivala's reply:

The gesture Namaste represents the belief that there is a Divine spark within each of us that is located in the heart chakra. The gesture is an acknowledgment of the soul in one by the soul in another. "Nama" means bow, "as" means I, and "te" means you. Therefore, Namaste literally means "bow me you" or "I bow to you."

To perform Namaste, we place the hands together at the heart charka, close the eyes, and bow the head. It can also be done by placing the hands together in front of the third eye, bowing the head, and then bringing the hands down to the heart. This is an especially deep form of respect. Although in the West the word "Namaste" is usually spoken in conjunction with the gesture, in India, it is understood that the gesture itself signifies Namaste, and therefore, it is unnecessary to say the word while bowing.

We bring the hands together at the heart chakra to increase the flow of Divine love. Bowing the head and closing the eyes helps the mind surrender to the Divine in the heart. One can do Namaste to oneself as a meditation technique to go deeper inside the heart chakra; when done with someone else, it is also a beautiful, albeit quick, meditation.

For a teacher and student, Namaste allows two individuals to come together energetically to a place of connection and timelessness, free from the bonds of ego-connection. If it is done with deep feeling in the heart and with the mind surrendered, a deep union of spirits can blossom.

Ideally, Namaste should be done both at the beginning and at the end of class. Usually, it is done at the end of class because the mind is less active and the energy in the room is more peaceful. The teacher initiates Namaste as a symbol of gratitude and respect toward her students and her own teachers and in return invites the students to connect with their lineage, thereby allowing the truth to flow - the truth that we are all one when we live from the heart.

Monday, July 04, 2005

My niece and nephew will be coming over for a visit this July. Sandali rin lang sila dito, pero will make the most of it.

Friday, July 01, 2005

photo by dan massey Posted by Picasa

hehe matagal-tagal na palang walang update itong blog ko.
what i've been up to:

~enjoying the company of good people
~looking at life as it is, not as i want it to be
~trying to balance my time with all of the things i want to do before i die :P
~listening to Bridge's Love From Lust album (may utang na review kay Johnoy)
~listening to Johannes Linstead's Guitarra Del Fuego
~preparing for an exhibit this October (punta po kayong lahat)
~getting serious about writing as a career (hell, why not. i'm already doing it anyway through this blog, and that goes for all of us bloghoppers)
~dreaming of possibilities
~nagtataka kung ano ang significance ng pagkain ko sa mcdo habang may nagra-rally sa ayala ave kahapon ng hapon. at napaisip na lahat ng tao ay kailangan ng pang-unawa, kaaway mo man o kaibigan...

Thursday, June 23, 2005


Posted by Hello

(2nd draft)

looking down, she found
the watch on her wrist
had stopped

its gears could no longer
bleed seconds, its hands
could no longer
tell the hour --

it was free.

a look of envy crossed
her very young face

but the expression
was only there a moment

before a new thought
led her to other things

June 23

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

You Are Invited

Pinoypoets’ Anniversary Night @ Conspiracy

If you’re a writer, a poet, an artist or simply a lover of literature, better block off Tuesday, June 28 on your social calendar. Pinoypoets (PP), an online community of literary enthusiasts, will be holding its first anniversary bash at Conspiracy Bar in Quezon City.

The event, dubbed PP ‘to!(The Pinoypoets’ First Anniversary), promises to be an evening filled with laughter, music, and of course, excellent poetry. Prominent social, academic, and literary figures Makati Rep. Teddy Locsin Jr, Conchitina Cruz, Vin and Kris Dancel, Noel Del Prado, Joyce Burton Titular, Enrico John Torralba, Hannah Romawac, Roli Inocencio, Nerissa Del Carmen Guevarra, Monica Llamas and Gary Granada, are but a few of our guest readers.

The celebration will also be highlighted by performances from G-Strings, 10kpp, Rubberband, Johnoy Danao of Bridge, Paramita, and Hannah Romawac of Session Road.

PP ‘to!(The Pinoypoets’ First Anniversary), will start at 8 p.m. Admission is FREE. See you there! :)

Friday, June 17, 2005

A Poem and a Painting

'The Lovers' by Rene Magritte Posted by Hello

Wislawa Szymborska

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways -
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember -
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt “wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday

a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another

Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Stopped Searching

Oh wow, talk about coincidences. I think the universe is playing a game on me, but this time, it made me smile (or rather laugh out loud like an idiot). Ok ok, I won't mess it up this time.

Saturday, June 11, 2005


artwork by dave mckean Posted by Hello


"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is: Infinite."
- William Blake

Why do we see what we see in the way that we see them?

And how come learning to step back, to pause, to see what we're actually doing (in the midst of eveything else that's going on in our lives) is such a hard thing to do?


Friday, June 10, 2005

Isang Tula

First draft

“You cannot go into the womb to form the child; it is there and makes itself and comes forth whole – and there it is and you have made it and have felt it, but it has come itself.”

- Gertrude Stein

Narito na naman ang pahina

Dinatnan ko siyang
Walang guhit
At wala pang marka


Paano nga ba muling magsisimula?

Kanina, ang dami kong napunit
Na mga salita

“Bahala na,”
Ang mga binitiwang kataga
Sa mga bagay na hindi ko pa alam

Humuhuni ang paligid
Umiikot ang aking pag-iisip

Makikipara muna

Sa sinasakyang bangka
At maglalakad sa lupa

Tungo sa gubat
At mga puno
Papalayo sa mundo

At maglalatag ng higaan
Na tila isang tulisan

Titingala at mapapatingin

Sa gabi
Sa mga namumuong tala

Sa dilim,
Sa mga tinig na nagigising

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Some More Musings

somewhere, a saxophonist is playing a tune.

in different times of the day, we pick it up, some of us knowingly, and some of us unconsciously.

we hum the melody softly in our minds, and add bits and pieces of our own music, our own styles, to this original piece.

it was good talking to you over a warm cup of coffee. the rain stopped for a few brief moments and everything was okay.

everything IS okay.


Friday, June 03, 2005


Just got back from my online hiatus.
Looks like things are back to normal.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Rainy Wednesday

Summer's almost over. Or maybe it already is?...

I'm at Netopia Greenhills again. Stranded by the sudden downpour. While the school is just a few meters away. Funny thing, water. So formless, yet so powerful. But I don't mind waiting. Or passing the time away (one of my few luxuries, really). Everything is so fast-paced nowadays, it is such a pleasure to say, "I like for me to be still..."

I recently made a lot of changes in my life. These changes came from some fundamental choices I made about what to keep, and what to let go. For sure, there will be consequences because of this, but I only hope that people understand.

Sometimes, the heart calls and there is no force on earth that can stop it. I'm not even talking about something romantic here. When the essence of your life calls, you just drop everything to answer it, no matter the cost. I only wish that I were more of a multi-tasker, but I'm not really. I can only focus on one thing at a time.

And to whoever is reading this, may your muse keep your fire burning. In the darkest night, your light will reveal its hidden colors and its deepest hues.

Never stop creating.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Guitar Dreams

photo by dan massey Posted by Hello

Bad trip, hindi na-save yung una kong sinulat... Oh well.

Been thinking about the flamenco for some months now, and looking for teachers and classes. Partly because I love the improvisations and the music and the history, and partly because my guitar playing has reached a plateau. My laziness has gotten to the point where I want to kick myself in the ass hehe. I need to seriously spend more time playing. I mean seriously. Which begs the question, is it still a hobby, or is it already a craft?

Hobbyist. In the art scene (at least among the younger groups), it's a word spoken with disdain, if not outright hostility. Whenever I find myself in a conversation of this sort concerning a particular person, I want to just scream out, "Amp, e buti nga nagsisipag magpinta yung tao e!" but I can't say I blame them. They've been through blood, sweat and tears, and have the scars to show for it. They do mean well, and they do have a point. Where does the hobby end, and the discipline begin? Many of those who engage in artistic disciplines have sacrificed much for the sheer love of their craft. Tapos paano pa kung ayaw ng ibang tao ng trabaho mo? But that is another issue...

Of course, talking to the older artists is a breath of fresh air. Having accomplished much, and achieved much, they're more laid back, at ease, and very much more willing to tell you everything they know about their craft. Well, maybe not everything, but at least they're a lot more fun to be with hehehe.

But going back to the guitar, it is an extremely difficult instrument to master. Although it is one of the easiest to learn. Tatlong chords lang buhay na hehe. Kanta na yun lol. Self-study, I think, will only get someone so far. Eventually, one would have to look for teachers. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that there was a center (on all things flamenco) here in the Philippines, the
Fundacion Centro Flamenco.

Hmm... now I just hope i don't procrastinate anymore. And I hope I can marry the two styles I've been working on, blues and this. Apologies to purists out there. ;)

Monday, May 16, 2005

Ayan Bagong Mukha Ulit

Changed my blog template again. Hopefully, no more glitches this time. And yes, Van, pwede na magcomment hehehe. :D

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Walking on Water

i revised a recent poem, and this is what came out of it...

Walking on Water

it would be a moment of stillness

the sea would touch
the soles of your feet
and it would wonder
at your weightlessness

while you,
a child of the wind,
would marvel at its strength

where heaven kisses its tears,
you will wait

for the sea to whisper
the meaning of its depths

and in turn,
you will reveal your soul's journey
up until this singular instant --

how your horizon is no longer
an illusion of an endless line
that always comes full circle

and how, as you tell an ancient friend,
much has changed
with the way you see the world

may 12, 2005

Thursday, May 05, 2005

On Teaching and Other Stuff this Laidback Thursday Aternoon

My drawing and watercolor workshop for kids is coming to a close. I miss my students already. Kids are so easy to please. Kanina, I gave them Coke, and they were so happy about it. After that, kwentuhan na sila about wrestling, etc. Umm, guys, you still have to finish this, i would tell them... Oh well, baby sitter mode na naman ako.

I was telling them about Randy Savage and Hulk Hogan during the early days of Wrestlemania. haha they were looking at me like, you're that old already? On the other hand, kinukwento naman nila sa akin yung nangyari sa Wrestlemania 21 (which I missed watching.) The return of Stone Cold, pagkapanalo ni Undertaker etc. Hahaha complete with actions.

I loved the way they mixed their colors. So fearless, so pure. Their oranges would leap off the paper like fire. And their choices of colors! Surely no painter my age would do it this way. Pero galing grabe. I hope they can keep their artistic flair.

My other two classes are ending as well (Drawing for adults and Creativity.) Iba rin namang magturo ng matanda. Masaya rin hehe. If there's anything I would have hoped to teach them, it's that it's okay to be an artist. In a sense, the older students in my drawing class are like kids din, kasi where they stopped in their drawing stages is actually where we took off. Adults going back to drawing usually find their works juvenile. Which makes sense since it's about that period when kids stop drawing, overtaken by other concerns.

So I usually start off any new workshop by diagnostic drawing tests - drawing a person from memory, doing a self-portrait, and then drawing their hand. And then at the end of the course, I have them look at their initial drawings again. To say that they're surprised is an understatement. But it's all them. It's their hard work. I just facilitate. I keep telling them that drawing is a learnable skill, just like cooking, or driving, or swimming. I have one student there that's really serious about his craft, and I try to teach him everything I know. It's good rin to get feedback, since that way, i'll know where I need to concentrate, and what more I could teach them.

The hardest workshop to do is the Creativity Workshop. It's such a huge field, and there isn't any one authoritative text or source. It runs the gamut from creativity and spirit, blocks and fears, to skills and knowledge, life and learning. I still remember Tina asking me to do the workshop for her a year before. And I remember always begging off.. I can't do it, it's too hard, I still need more time. Finally, I said yes. And true enough, it was very difficult. I remember exhausting all my material in day one, as in pouring myself out, everything I knew.
And then the course just took on a life of its own. Our conversations became a creative spirit in itself, taking us in directions we never would have imagined. And along the way, learning about each other's processes, and our own. Although, I will admit, marami pa talaga akong hindi alam. But I think I'll let the workshop morph into whatever form it wants to take. And probably do more research and interviews.

I'll have to thank Havi for helping me while I was doing the workshop. Sabi nga nila, when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I would not have been able to leap through the abyss without her correspondence. In a sense, the workshop took place because of her creativity coaching. Hmm... wise people - they're all over the place, and we don't even have to look far to ask for their help. And we don't even have to ask - sometimes they just show up, and our lives are all the richer for it.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Destructive Spirit of the Creative Process

"A whole person is one who has both walked with God and wrestled with the devil."
- C. G. Jung

A student of mine in my Creativity class told me he was reading Da Vinci Decoded by Michael Gelb. Which was synchronistic, since I was reading the same book as well (although I haven't gone back to it just yet.) We had a very enlightening conversation on a particular chapter, "Sfumato".

Sfumato basically means "going up in smoke". And it was developed to perfection by the artists of the Italian Renaissance. In the book, however, author Gelb talks about a different idea of sfumato - the Shadow.

In Jungian psychology, one's shadow or shadow aspect is that part of the personality that is repressed or denied. And since every person develops a particular self, it is basically everything that we are not.

(recent thoughts, will develop later...)

April 28
2:21 pm


It's a tuesday afternoon and I'm here at Netopia in Greenhills... Just came from a weekend at Liliw, Laguna, sponsored by Tina (my boss at Art Informal.)

So, going back to the shadow...

One can't have a shadow without a light. Jung says that our shadows are those parts of us that ache to be recognized, that ache to be acknowledged. So if a person has been afraid all his life, inside him is a golden shadow full of courage. Or if a person has been good all his life, has followed all the rules, and lived according to the standards set by society, inside him may be a jester/trickster just aching to break them.

So where am I going with all of this? Hahaha I honestly don't know. I do know that it's better to be a person of depth, rather than a "flat" person. It's better to go through the fire than not having gone at all. In the same vein, it's also better to know what the destructive parts of ourselves are, so that we don't end up sabotaging our opportunities. As writers and artists, it is so easy and tempting to do this - "I'm busy", "I don't have the time," etc.

Creative people like us go through chaotic periods all of the time. At one moment, it's the hurricane, at others, it's the hurricane's eye. I think it's probably a yin and yang process. There's just no getting around it. For example, there are times when we're so open about ourselves, and we basically just give and give and give until we can't give anymore. Then the yang (masculine) aspect kicks in, and we just close, not giving anymore, or at least unable to.


I used to dread uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos. But now, I crave them. How else would we be able to create order, or manifest our visions? How else would we be able to evolve?

Sure, sometimes it sucks. Hell, I still don't know if this is what I want to do with my life (although it can be quite fun and unpredictable and nerve-wracking at the same time.) Hehe, and I think I've made a thousand mistakes already. But then, life's about learning right?

Hmmm... I think I'll listen to "Hand in my Pocket" to end this blog... :D


May 3
5:30 pm
Netopia, Greenhills